Thursday, February 16, 2012

Romanticised Creatures and Rules

I've been venting to myself about this for a while and I'm finally going to get it out there. There are certain creatures that should not be romanticised. Other's may think differently, and I'm fine with that. But my opinion is that some creatures should stay as they are and with some there are certain rules that should stick with them too. Here they are:

1. Zombies--there isn't anything that could possibly be sexy about a zombie. They're dead, they don't heal, and they're rotting and I bet their breath is stank ass too. If I saw a zombie I would never press my lips to theirs...instead, I would take a machete and swing it at it's head. Not to mention there is a certain word for people who do the hibbidy dibbidy with the dead, and that is severely frowned upon. Now, here is my one rule about zombies that dries me crazy when it gets changed...Zombies change you. I don't care if it's from a bite, blood, or sleeping with it, either way it changes you. When it comes to animals that get 'infected' from a bite or blood, whatever your thing is (I guess it could be sleeping with them too, I'm sure there's another big word for animals and the dead) the animal should be changed too. Example, let's say Tony the Tiger uses his mad skills on a zombie and gets bitten, please explain to me why Mr. Tony wouldn't get changed? I guess if it's some "human only" virus or chemicals for humans only, okay. But come on! Alright, on to the next.

2. Ghost--How in the heck is a ghost sexy? I don't care if I can see them or touch them and if it's the 'norm' for the world to constantly have contact with them. If a ghost tried to grope me, I would be burning sage and doing an exorcism. (Sorry Hubby, but yes, even if it was you) I find this disturbing in many, many ways. Not to mention, if the ghost has any sort of consciousness, why would they want to try something with someone? Please tell me. "Hey, baby, I know I'm dead and all, but bring your sweet cherry lips over here," I think not. I'd be saying "Bitch, you need to get over me so I can be sitting upstairs sipping some tea in a gold cup."

3. Trolls--Okay, when you say Troll I think of a short, hairy, wart covered, big nosed monster who sits under a bridge saying, "Who is that billy goat crossing my bridge?" Troll=monster. Monster=Troll. See where I'm going with this? I don't care if you make the Troll 6ft tall, it's still a Troll. If it's tall and isn't covered in warts, doesn't live in the rocks or caves or mountains and is cute, then it's not a damn Troll! It's like thinking the goblin's in The Labyrinth are thank you.

To those of you who may be offended, my apologies. This is just one opinion out of millions and dont' take it to heart. Now that I have this off of my chest maybe I can get back to writing my own novel.